Janeiro 2010
Tumblr is going to be annoying tonight, with the Grammys being on.
I’d rather play naked chess with the God Warrior and Rush Limbaugh than read about pointless, untalented artists that I am trying to avoid by not watching the shitty Grammys.
And yes, any award show that recognizes the pure garbage that is Black Eyed Peas (just an example) as music is irrelevant crap.
“Sonic The Hedgehog is a beautiful statement on capitalism. You spend your whole life collecting yellow rings and then hit one spike and lose them all. And there is a fat man who wants to kill you.”
—Thom Yorke (via makeyoubald)
“To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.”
—Kurt Vonnegut (via believemeapollo) (via loveyourchaos) (via francescotacconi) (via nbnsundance) (via isaac-lonetree) (via dorazora) (via migue-e)
“Alright, listen closely, I’m not gonna beat around the bush. *laughs* You’re little body is changing, and it’s all good, believe me. The problem now is, everytime we jerk the gherkin, we end up with a lot of, unwanted, sticky, white stuff everywhere, alright? Right, so, first order of business. No more socks; they’re expensive, gumming up the works, plumbing wise. Now you might be thinking to yourself, ‘But Uncle Andy, what do I do with all that pearl jam if I can’t spew it into Mr Sock?’ Glad you asked, you can have a lovely time tugging the tiger in the shower each morning, that eliminates the need for a goo-glove, but, the day is long, masturbation is fun, so unless we wanna take four or five showers everyday, we’re gonna need some other options here. So let’s start with the basics. Tissues, perfectly acceptable backstop for all that Creamy Italian. It can be rough and dry on such soft, sensitive skin, not to mention it can stick to your dick like a fucking bandaid, ouch! From there we move on to more lubricated flack catchers. Specifically, bananas. Step one, peel the banana. Step two, slip the peel over your Randy Johnson and start pitching. Now, for extra credit, warm up the peel in the microwave, not too hot! Serious yeowzah. Also, olive oil, moisturiser, honey, spit, butter, hair conditioner and Vaseline can all be used for lube. In my opinion, the best lube, is lube. So save your allowance and invest in some soon. Alright, moving on. When you tug your Thomas on the toilet, *pfft*, shoot right into the bowl. In bed, soft t-shirts, perhaps a downy handtowel of your very own that you don’t mind tossing, after tossing. There’s no such thing as polishing the sceptre of love too much. It reduces stress, it enhances immune function, also, practise makes perfect. So work on your control now, while you’re a solo artist, you’ll be playing some long, happy duets in the future. Alright, class dismissed.”
—Andy Botwin (To Shane, on masturbating), Weeds. (via helloanjelica)
“A life, Jimmy, you know what that is? It’s the shit that happens while you’re waiting for moments that never come.”
—Lester Freamon, The Wire (via makeyoubald)
